Hi.

I recently purchased a gaff and breast forms through some new process the prison is trying out. The items were very literally purchased from Amazon, I have the receipt if anyone cares to know the exact product I am now using in prison. China!

Very exciting stuff. A very mile purchase made ‘radical’ through the repressive nature of prison. A pair of C cup breast forms, the prison’s largest ‘acceptable’ size, and my gaff cost $55.07. I am aware of a handful of trans women in here using these items, I hope to get some photos to share here soon.

I will likely conduct a new gender dysphoria case study to assess the impact these items have on my wellbeing. First thoughts? While I want bigger boobs, thereby bigger formed and am struggling with no appropriate bra for the forms — both items are awesome to have, a testament to our power.

I am a week or so away from my 2nd community letter approving my various surgeries. Then I will be scheduled for a vaginoplasty consult a year or two out.
With that said, it is fitting to discuss some issues. First and foremost, I don’t trust the State to hold true to a consult/surgery timeline spanning multiple years. We will need to not have mild reforms alleviate pressure we are applying, as until I have my surgery — it has not happened.

In that vein, there is only one surgeon working with the DoC to perform, and I use the term perform loosely here, these procedures. Gathering more surgeons willing to reduce the harm present in the prison system would be great, so as to facilitate speedy surgeries that alleviate a lifetime of perpetual suffering. They also get to bill OHP, our insurance, the full amount. Worse case, I am will in to name said only-surgeon to figure out what is going on, why no one in Oregon DoC has yet had a vaginoplasty. You, my supporters, will need to help me navigate this.

Last, my other medically necessary gender affirming surgeries are not being permitted still. The DoC’s alleged treatment plan for dysphoria is a bottom up approach, though they effectively provide no surgery whatsoever due to the de facto blockade on vaginoplasty. Edmo v. Corizon protects my right to any and all gender affirming care deemed medically necessary, I have been aware of for some time. My current status on criterion for other procedures? My DoC assigned therapist has ruled them all medically necessary, prescribed them if you will, which satisfies the WPATH standards to be allowed hem. Yet, unsurprisingly, I am stuck in this vaginoplasty pipeline which could take years if it happens at all!

I believe we are at a point where it is necessary that we ask what is being done to me, by extension all trans women in custody, and what we must do to fix this. Bottom line, my transition should be unhindered in prison and, surprisingly, the Law rests on my side in this matter. I need the procedures I have discussed with professionals, that I have (hopefully) shared via my 1st community letter. None of these are happening.

I am one woman who lives in a locked box — what do I do?

-Candle